Give and take

Our relationships are merely just a balance of give and take. The ideal balance is complete, meaning 50/50, but most of our relationships aren’t balanced. We’re either giving or taking too much. And in some cases, it’s a natural imbalance. A child is bound to take more from their parent than they can give back. A student will take more from their teacher than they can give – but it’s supposed to be that way.

In most of our relationships, it’s a tug of war. Sometimes its 70/30, other times its 20/80. But the question is, how willing are we to let the imbalance persist? Are we consciously taking? Are we intentionally allowing someone to take from us?

We are way too quiet in this tug of war, because everything in our mind is relative. We’ve made certain things acceptable and certain things unacceptable.
“I’m willing to take this kind of abuse from my boss but not from my coworker.”
“I’m really into this guy so I’ll take his condescension because I want the chance to be with him.”

So what’s really wrong with it, if eventually the abuse will result in reward?

Because we’re giving away our Light.

We’ll give our Light away and live in hell for 2 years for the chance of being happy in 5. We have to start taking control over our Light. We cannot allow other people or situations to make us happy, sad, fulfilled, or rejected.

Our energy needs to be independent of those people and things around us. Independence doesn’t mean we should live without parents, teachers, children friends or partners. In each of our relationships there will be one giver and one taker at any given moment. But in every moment, the roles of giver and taker have to change. There needs to be an effort to work towards that state of 50/50.

There are people in this world who go to work and their sole focus is to look good in front of their boss so they can get a promotion. Those people have given up their independence. When their boss gets fired, where is their Light? Gone. Where is their potential for growth? Gone. Out the door, with their boss, to whom they willingly gave over their Light.

You cannot base your success or goals on other people or situations. But you can be independent, own your energy, your Light, do whatever it takes in the position you’re in to get closer to the Light of the Creator, and care about other people. Everything else will fall into place.

We keep our physical house and possessions under lock and key, but our 99% possessions, our spiritual Light - we leave open, accessible and free for all to take. Its not necessarily a conscious decision – each time someone or something makes me happy or sad, I’m giving my Light away. No one and no thing should make me anything.

That’s not to say we should lock everyone out so no one can hurt us. We want to be independent, but not alone. Being independent means no one can hurt me. I have strength and I’m not afraid to be open with people and share with them. No matter what people do to me I will be ok. It may hurt, but it won’t scar because I own my Light.

Look for ways you’re giving your Light away. And look for ways you take from others’ Light. Be real. Be honest. And seek balance. It’s the month of Libra – let’s even out the scales.

All the best,

Inspiring change

Moses, and all the spiritual giants of history, held in their hands the power to push aside all forms of judgment - pain, illness, sadness - both from their own lives and from the lives of others.
Every single one of us is meant to achieve this ability in our lifetime; to come to the level where we have control over judgment, where we can say “MOVE ASIDE!” to any judgment that befalls us or those around us. And by judgment the masters are referring to ill-health, poverty, misery, and all forms of chaos.

This is one of the most important goals of our lives.

I know many reading this are thinking that this does not apply to them, but rather only to the chosen few righteous people in our generation. Yet, according to the Zohar, this is what makes our current generation more unique than any other that has preceded it for thousands of years. It is written that as we come close to the end of the correction, we will all possess the power to heal and remove judgment - at will.

Before I explain practically how to strive and grow towards this level in our daily lives, we need to understand and believe (believe isn’t the right word - complete certainty) that we can, and eventually will in this lifetime, come to this point where we can push aside judgment. Everything begins with consciousness. When we have the desire (vessel) for this power - and the certainty that we can achieve it - we will have it.

We need to know that it is within our potential to come to this point.

There is a famous story about one of the students of Shimon who was about to die. It is written that Shimon saw the Angel of Death dancing in front of his student and he, bound the Angel of Death, and saved the man’s life. Shimon held this power in his hands. We too are meant to wield this power.
True, most of us are not there yet, but we must first have the clarity that we can come to this level. All of us, and not just the chosen few. Once we can wrap our minds around this truth, then the work begins. And it is as follows.

Each one of us has within our lives two opposing forces. The soul, referred as the desire to share, mercy, or the right column - and the body, referred to as the desire to receive for the self alone, judgment or the left column. Every day of our lives we are faced with countless decisions as to which force we will follow.

When someone provokes us and we react in anger, we have chosen to follow the desire to receive. That choice then decrees that left rules over right, judgment over mercy, body over soul. When we react with patience and tolerance, we have chosen to follow the desire to share, and that choice decrees that right rules over left, mercy over judgment, soul over body.

Moments later, a challenging situation arises and we react in desperation. Again, we have chosen to follow the desire to receive. That choice decrees that left rules over right, judgment over mercy, and so on. But if we react with certainty that there is opportunity in calamity, then the opposite occurs and right rules over left, mercy over judgment, and so on.

And so our day goes, endless choices as to which force we will follow. Naturally, we view these individual decisions as insignificant, even meaningless. And yet they are anything but, for the majority of these decisions determine the type of person we are and the type of influence we can have in our own lives - and in the lives of others.

When we are consistent - not perfect, but consistent - in choosing mercy over judgment, right over left, soul over body, the Creator says, “you are a person in this world who makes right rule over left and therefore you can exercise this power to control any judgments that come into your life, the lives of your loved ones, and into the world at large.”

Review your past week, month, year - how many decisions have you made where you allowed anger to rule over love, jealousy over appreciation, vengeance over forgiveness?

Especially in the remaining moments, when the power to see the truth is clearer than at any other time of year, think about all the times you chose judgment. This is not about “doing the right thing” or being “a spiritual person.” This is about knowing that going forward, when you need the power to remove judgments from your life and the lives of others, you want that power to be there, in your hands.

This is an entirely new way to view our lives. When we push ourselves to share when we don’t want to especially with someone we strongly dislike,) when we push ourselves to have certainty in the face of confusion (especially when our back is against the wall,) when we push ourselves to exercise human dignity when faced with intolerance (especially when it is directed at our loved ones,) we will have the power to tell any judgment, “MOVE ASIDE!”

I know for myself this understanding changes my decision process in the midst of the challenges I face every day - both physical and spiritual. And I trust for you, the reader, it will do the same. Now that you know the spiritual logic, it is my intention that you will have more desire to push down on anger, disappointment, sadness, selfishness - and all the attributes of the judgment / body / left column.

As you learn to do this on a consistent basis - again, not perfect, but consistent - you will come to posses the power to say “MOVE ASIDE!” to sickness, lack, misery, insecurity - and all forms of judgment - both in your own life and in the lives of those surrounding you.